Ah Kong Passed Away

My father passed away on 23th November 2008. I am unable to write about his passing on untill today. There are simply too many valuable stories about Ah Kong that I wish to share with my own children.

A JOURNEY TO THE PAST

A JOURNEY TO THE PAST
(By the boy who once sent off a wooden crate from Bricksfield to China)



Beyond the city of Chuenzhou, after a short distance on some ancient stone pavement, we entered into the county of Sianyu, I am now traveling on the road leading me to the city of Putian, some distance away from the Henghua Bay, along beautiful but mysterious mountain range. In search of my father’s village and our ancestral home.

What is now covered by a fairly good four lane highway was once, I was told, a dirt road passing through many villages and many stone workshops along the way. Because of the granite reserve along the mountain range, this is an area with attractive stone carvings and stone carvings workshop, evidenced by the numerous statutes displayed and skilled masons working with their hammers on huge block of solid granite, creating granite blocks for road pavement, building materials and sculptures of lions and other vernacular objects. I looked at those skilled masons with awe, and later confirmed that my grandfather was once a mason; he died at the age of 38 due to sickness that probably received no medical attention, he also passed away a blind man, as a result of years of working dangerously with hammers on the granite and subject himself to all the attack of the flying granite particles.

Our car eventually arrived near somewhere, where we could see my father’s village. We stopped and took some photographs. Some distance later we passed Nai Kay ( Nai stream/creek) bridge and turned left to head towards the foothill where I shall find the house where my father once lived as a boy until he was 18 years of age.

Looking back, it must be the year 1932 when life was too unbearable that he left China for Nam Yong or Southern Ocean which eventually lead him to the British Malaya during the Great Depression.

I was told that my great great grandfather had five sons, my great grandfather had two sons, one was Toh Yuan Kee, my grandfather, who was born in the X year of Kuang Hsu (1880) and he was brought up in Unhong (“Cloud’s Peak”) and married my grandmother who was known as Toh Chan Peilek Mou Mui, or Toh Chan Eighty Mou Girl ( 6 Mou is an acre) . Some years after my father was born, they moved to Huateng (“Grand Pagoda”), which was and still is a longan growing area on a hill slope, into a small village called O LO LI, which actually means Deep Purple Village! By then he had one girl Chai Ji and a boy, Kim Seng (my father).

After my grand father passed away at the age of 38 in the year 1918, in those days, it was important, especially in the village, to have a man in the household for direction and protection, hence, a certain Mr. Wong was invited into the household. Mr. Wong also brought a young daughter, she was later married to my father; so technically, I think my father had had a wife in China, but she died very young after my father sailed to Malaya.

In the village, as it was also considered weak to have only one son, especially so when there were not many Tohs, Chai Ji was married to a Mr. Kwok (Ah Ji), but under the arrangement, he assumed our family name of Toh, and she assumed the surname of kwok; it is like a reverse “takeover” with the objective of strengthening the Toh’s clan by numbers, as numbers mean power and security in the village, and they actually had a signed, sealed and attested agreement for it!

Earlier Mr. Kwok had been to Malaya as a boy at age 18 in 1924, he returned to China several years later, married Chai JI and assumed the family name of Toh. Toh Ah Ji was disappointed some years later when Chai Ji got him a girl, he then returned to Malaya again in 1932, this time bringing along my father who was 18 years old.

It was believed that Mr. Wong happened to be a opium smoking bandit and village bully, there were stories of him beating up my grandmother and everybody else in the household, once hanging up one of my grand uncles and whipping him on longan trees (like medium size rambutan tree). The whole household was terrorized by him, and suffered dearly.

When eventually, Toh Ah Ji managed to make his way again to Malaya in 1932 with my father, my father was by then only an 18 years old village boy who had gone through all the difficulties of survival, being constantly bullied and abused by other clans and his own stepfather. Hence, my father felt and still is feeling very deeply indebted to my uncle Toh Ah Ji.

Mr. Wong was eventually executed by firing squad under the Kuomingtang regime, for some kind of crimes that he habitually committed. I believed the poor little girl who was married to my father was later mistreated for obvious reason and died very young.

After both Ah Ji and my father left O Lo Li, and after the death of Mr. Wong, the household had only my grandmother, Chai Ji (Ah Ji’s wife, and actually, my fathers sister) and her eldest daughter, Geok Boei. I was told in those days, they earned their living by working as carrier from Putian to Sianyu, carrying all sorts of merchandise with bamboo stick on their shoulders, over a distance of 50 km, on daily basis! Still, my grand mother lived up to a ripe full age of 88 in 1978.

Geok Boei was only a teenager, and she was not very good in her work, she was once badly whipped by Chai Ji with a cow’s whip for not being able to plough the land properly. Later, She was arranged to be married to a Mr. Kwok Yen Chiao, who was a clerk in the Kuomingtang army stationed at Putian at that moment; the marriage was again supposed to be a reverse takeover, but Mr. Kwok did not eventually change his surname.

And years later, when Mr. Kwok and Geok Boei visited O Lo Li in 1993, Geok Boei’s brother (Kok Meng, my cousin.) handed over to him, the signed, sealed and attested agreement, probably indicated his decision to free him from such obligation of changing his surname. By then, Mr. Kwok has already become an artist of fair repute in Taiwan, and I once organized an art exhibition for him in Kuala Lumpur in 1980.

Life was truly bitter for my grandmother as she was already in her fifties after the boys left for Malaya. Once, she saved enough and managed to buy enough cotton to make a quilt, properly to prepare for the coming winter. Upon completion of sewing the quilt over God knows how long, she placed the quilt on the stone Tu Ti Kong (earth god) by the stone bridge built by Ah Ji on his previous trip back to O Lo Li, to be dried; to her grave disappointment, the quilt was stolen and she just could not contain her grieve, she knelt in front of the Tu Ti Kong knocking her forehead vigorously on the stone pavement, and cried against the Tu Ti Kong for not being able to even protect her badly needed and hard-earned quilt! The other women folks in the household could only cried upon seeing her badly bruised and bleeding forehead, so I was told.

After several turnings to the left and to the right, passing one abandoned building constructed with solid granite stones, which once served as the village school, I finally saw the stone plaque with the inscription which read: “O Lo Li” !

Our car finally stopped on a small courtyard, in front of a stone bridge, where my grandmother lost her quilt!

Many curious village kids immediately surrounded our car, they were fascinated by this strangely looking man from a sedan car and I was fascinated by so many kids speaking Henghua with heavy accent like my father’s.

I must admit even in that emotional moment I did not fail to notice the poor personal hygiene condition of those kids, one particular little girl had some strains of blood on her noose, despite my reminding her to wipe it off, she just did not do anything. There was also a teenage boy of about 15, quite dirty looking and not properly dressed, I immediately thought of Tan Kah Kee’s biography about how on his first trip back to Amoy (now Xiamen), after becoming a tycoon in Singapore in the nineteen thirties, he saw groups of very dirty looking teenagers loitering everywhere, some without even wearing proper trousers! He was so shocked and later committed all his wealth to support the new China, and among other things, founded the present University of Xiamen. I never thought that in 1996 I would still be seeing something like that!

My cousin lead me to the house where my father once lived as a boy, presently I am standing In front of the common hall where the plaques of the dead were kept, the hall has no window or air vent, just a two panes door and feel quite gloomy, I was told that the common hall is for some serious functions like funerals. Before someone pass away, the body is normally placed here to wait for the final moment. The hall is shared by another Toh’s family who are the descendants of one of my four great grand uncles. Their house is attached to ours, very much like the condition of our earlier house in Bricksfield, except that the houses here are actually constructed with granite stones and the walls are plastered with mud mixed with straw, it looks very interesting and feels cool.

On the left of the common hall is the main entrance, but it was locked and my cousin could not find the person whom he had entrusted with the key. We moved along a narrow lane and found another side entrance. On the sides of the door panes were clear slogans in red paint which read:” Forever Revolution!”, “Follow Chairman Mao!”, “ Learn From The Big Camp” and “Support Chairman Hua!” These were all slogans during the Cultural Revolution in the sixties and Chairman Hua was Hua Kuo Feng who succeeded Mao in 1976 but later deposed by Deng Xiao Peng. I once saw him checking out of a resort reserved for state dignitary near Zhenjiang, and I was told that although he had lost power, he is still entitled to first class treatment as accorded to the other top senior leaders; but I think loosing power is bad enough, and he is already now a very old man.

I was very surprised that I could see those actual slogans painted in red depicting several eras in the last thirty years of political development in China! I moved closer to those red slogans, touching them with my bare hand and thought of all that I have read about those turbulent years! The kids who followed us were getting more curious upon seeing my strange behavior, and later one elderly man and another elderly woman came excitingly trying to find out who had returned.

They do know my father and asked many questions about him. The man asked if I know his brother Hong Mun, a name which I wearily remembered hearing it being mentioned before, he later brought a framed photo of his brother’s family taken in Cameron Highland (from the evidence in the photo). He urged me to persuade his brother to visit him next month and also to witness the parade of a certain goddess. I explained to him that my father is now a Christian and he looked rather confused.

We finally decided to break the lock for me to have a look inside the house, when the door was open, I was very excited and when I crossed that smooth horizontal stone block below the door panes, I knew my father must have crossed here many times and I also knew my mother must have also crossed this stone in 1962 when she came to China to visit her mother-in-law whom she had not met before!

I remembered when I was four years old, once my family was busy preparing lots of preserved foods, my mother hang many strips of pork heavily seasoned with five spice powder, to be dried and later packed in oil tins and sealed. Together with many other things, I think they packed in a wooden crate to be sent to somewhere.

Later one evening, the whole family went to the railway station, I remembered I was very excited and climbing up and down the couches playing hide and seek with my sisters and giving them a nightmare of a time, because they know that if I am injured, my parents will definitely beat them up! For I was the youngest son at that time and was accorded with befitting privileges as such!

Suddenly, I was carried off the train but my mother was still on board the train until the train started moving forward! I cried as the family waved my mother off. That was 1962 when I was four, I consider that incidence as the furthest point in my memory.

I was later told that my mother had gone to “Tongsan” ( China). I also remembered she came back one night when we were almost asleep, I remembered everybody was exclaiming “ Mother is back! Mother is back!” and I rushed to be carried and cried. Those were the scenes some 34 years ago!

Now that I am in this house where my father was brought up, where so much hardship was endured by my grandmother, I went round everywhere taking photos and making mental note of the condition, trying to imagine how life was those days.

After going round the four bedrooms on the ground floor, I went up to the mezzanine floor where some used items were stored. There on the mezzanine floor, suddenly I saw a wooden crate with my mother’s name written in red paint together with the address of O Lo Li and the name of the travel agency in Singapore, Lian Ho Travel Bureau! I readily figured out that this must be the wooden crate which my mother used to pack all the materials, including the seasoned pork strips in 1962. I must have also sent off the crate when I was four in that railway station in Bricksfield thirty four years ago! And now I am standing in front of the wooden crate, thirty eight years old, in O Lo Li.

There lies unscathed, this wooden crate for the past thirty four long years silently. It must have been totally oblivion of the turbulent days outside the house during the several mass movements in China, including The Great Proletariat Cultural Revolution from 1966 to 1976!

I stood there speechless for a long while, the crate looked so serene lying there, and it must have been so for the past thirty four years since my mother brought it here, and yet that boy who climbed up and down the train in Bricksfield thirty four years ago is now a thirty eight year old man, having gone through so much stormy days and unfortunately not so unscathed as the wooden crate in this remote village in O Lo Li, Putian, China! For such is life and all its awakening surprises!

We later visited my grandmother’s grave, on the hill slope behind the house, amidst many longan trees, there were three compartments in that grave, the other two were used for Toh Ah Ji and Chai Ji, his wife. On the way down, I was told that 36 longan trees on that hill slope used to belonged to our family but was subsequently distributed due to our absence. I was not at all surprised.

I left O Lo Li later and noticed that the little girl still had not wiped the strains of blood from her noose. Throughout my remaining journey, I kept thinking about that wooden crate on the mezzanine floor, in O Lo Li …...


( September 1996 )

THE CRATE

THE CRATE THAT WAS SENT OFF IN 1962 FROM KL AND REVISITED IN 1996 IN CHINA

JAMIE

JAMIE



11th November 1997

Today, I became a father.

Dearest Jamie, You came into this world at 9:05am on the 11th of November 1997, in Pantai Hospital. You were already seven days overdue and therefore both Mummy and Daddy agreed with Dr Nor Ashikin to augment the labor process by induction.

We checked into Room 118 at the hospital at around 10pm last night and I stayed till 11:30pm before leaving for home for a brief rest. But around 12 midnight, Mummy was moved to labor Room 105 for close monitoring as the nurses discovered that your heartbeat was a bit too slow. Mummy was very worried but she decided not to inform me, for fear of me not getting any rest. Hence she was not getting any rest herself till daybreak when she was meditating on Psalm 23. Then Dr. Nor Ashikin came in and noticed certain irregularities in your heartbeat. She decided to make a series of changes to your birth plan and instructed the nurses to monitor your condition closely. Later, at around 8am on the 11th of November 1997, your heartbeat started dipping too low and the nurses began a series of emergency measures to have you delivered by cesarean section. At that critical moment I arrived and saw some panicking in Room 105 and Mummy was sobbing for pain and confused sadness.

My dearest Jamie, you must know that Mummy loves you so very much that she has built up all her excitement and joy for this particular moment to have you delivered naturally, so that we can all experience the complete process of your coming into our lives. For the last nine months, we have felt your movements and have been very much fascinated by your little life in Mummy’s womb. At the very last moment, Mummy was really affected and shocked by the sudden crisis. So was I.

Nevertheless, as the man in the family, I knew I had to be calm and handle this carefully and quickly. I kept comforting Mummy and at the same time got on with the administrative aspects of the whole emergency exercise.

However, there was one more problem, as Dr. Nor Ashikin has several planned cesarean operations in the morning. While the nurses were preparing Mummy to go into the operating theater, Dr. Nor Ashikin was actually in the midst of another cesarean operation!

Hence, Mummy was in the waiting theater worried and in pain and I, after calming down Mummy all the way to the NO UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY sign, started to fear for the worst and was therefore getting quite frantic in the waiting lounge, for the longest one and a half hours in my life even though your grandpa and grandma also came later to offer support!

At around 10am, a nurse came and summoned me to have a look at you!

My dearest Jamie, I have been waiting all my life to have this moment when I can finally have a look at my very own son! When the moment came, I was so overwhelmed with emotions, and considering the overall circumstances that I had to see you in the Special Care Baby Unit, there was a fair measure of fear too.

When I entered the SCBU, Dr. Chin, the pediatrician in attendance, pointed towards an incubator and there was where I cast my first eternal look at you, the flesh of my flesh and the bone of my bone!

You looked so helpless, my dearest Jamie, but yet so peaceful! Dr. Chin explained that you were born slightly underweight; though your head was normal size but you had a smaller body weighing only 4 lb 12 oz.

In that eternal look I cast upon you in the SCBU, though through the incubator, I realized that today, I became a father! From now on, it is my responsibility and also my privilege to love you and to look after you. My dearest Jamie, from today on, there shall exist a bonding that is uniquely wonderful for mankind, that is, the bonding of father and son.

Today, all the three of us, Jamie, Mummy and Daddy shall step forward as a family. Through thick and thin, we shall be together, respecting, honoring and protecting each other while growing, exploring and learning together.

12th November 1997

Dearest Jamie, early this morning, I wheeled Mummy to the SCBU to have a look at you. She was overwhelmed with fear as there was also a cardiologist attending to you. We were told that there was a hole in your heart or VSD and the best thing to do was for you to be transferred to Gleneagles Intan Hospital which has the necessary equipment and to be attended to by Dr. Lim Miin Kang, reputed the best pediatric cardiologist in town.

You were transferred by an ambulance in an incubator, with me by your side all the way. Both my arms held the incubator, stabilizing it to prevent too much movement that may cause you discomfort.

We were caught in the near lunch time KL traffic and I apologized to you, promising you that our generation shall work hard to ensure your generation not having to face the same torture. Throughout the journey with siren blaring, I kept looking at your face, your hair, your mouth and kept monitoring your heartbeat and temperature. I felt so sorry for all the discomfort that you were being put through, and prayed that you would understand we were doing the best for you. I also kept assuring you of our love for you and that Jesus loves you too!

In Gleneagles, you were placed in a resuscitator while Dr. Lim conducted some scanning on your heart and inspected your overall condition. He then told us the heartbreaking news, you were born with a terminal chromosomal disorder known as Trisomy 18 or Edward’s Syndrome, and you may live only for a few days.

Oh my dearest Jamie, the flesh of my flesh and the bone of my bone, no expression is available to adequately articulate our pain at the moment of being told that there was no known survivor for this disorder, and nowhere in this whole wide world is there a cure.

We were shocked, confused and feeling very helpless. Mummy and Daddy just collapsed into each others arms and wept helplessly. Dr. Lim quickly cautioned us to prepare for the various phases of emotional reaction, of shock, confusion, denial, anger, grief, guilt and depression. But then my dearest Jamie, we are a God loving and God fearing family, perhaps we can take this differently.

My dearest Jamie, you were born so beautiful, and yet we can only have you for a while. Nevertheless, we know only in part and God knows in total. Since He is always in command, we need only to submit. At least we thank God for Mummy having experienced the joy of full term pregnancy and the privilege of bringing you into the world.



In any case, what is this concept of time created by man anyway? Who can tell me, in God’s eternity, what is the difference between just a few days and say, 50 years? My dearest Jamie, even if we are only given the privilege of taking care of you for just a few days, who can deny us of the eternal joy from the bond of love that we have already established? And who can argue that God, in His heaven, is not smiling by just looking at the three of us now?

My dearest Jamie, from now on we shall treasure every moment we have together, every minute with you is too precious to be described by mere words. We shall strive within this short time with you to be worthy in God’s eyes, as your chosen parents. This, we promise you.

Tonight, almost all our families have come to ICU to visit you, from your grandfather to your cousins and there must be almost thirty of them, taking turns calling your name and touching you. I was there whispering to you each of their names.

13th November 1997

Early this morning at about 4am, Mummy extracted some milk and brought it to the ICU to be fed to you as she wanted to give you her best, as she has been doing all these past nine months, walking into different baby shops so many times just to make sure you can have the best. Our dearest Jamie, we are now indeed truly free to offer you our purest love, bit by bit and moment by moment.

How long you shall be with us does not matter anymore. As in the case of a genuine artist who painted those dots, strokes and shades of colors on canvas, as long as every dot, stroke and shade of color was painted with the purest expression of love, who could deny the artist the true joy in the process? Even if somewhere in the process, the unfinished painting, for the lack of a better word, is terminated, the termination can never distort the truth that that wonderful artist had given his best and deserved the joy appropriately earned. Our dearest Jamie, who could deny Mummy of the joy of giving to you, as manifestation of her great maternal love? Surely not even the fact that you shall be taken away from us soon.

For feeding you her milk at 4am in the ICU ward, Mummy was also given the privilege of carrying you in her arms for the very first time and played your familiar Swan Lake from the music box. She later came back to her Room 369 and wept quietly in her bed for quite a while.

Later, at 7:45 am in the morning, your Mummy and Daddy went down to the ICU to feed you and play with you. I wept when I first carried you in my arms. Then an amazing stream of peace and joy flowed through my whole being as you rested so peacefully while I fed you, rocked you and cradled you in my arms. We took many photographs and I also played Swan Lake for you from the music box. Later, I combed your curly hair, and Mummy read you Psalm 23 before the nurse put you back into the resuscitator.

When your conditioned somewhat stabilized, you were moved to the Nursery around 12 noon so that we could be near you. In the Nursery, again Mummy and Daddy fed you, combed your hair, cradled you in our arms, played you music and Daddy read Psalm 23 to you.

When you continued to be stable, we finally managed to have you moved to the Pediatric Ward Room 411 to be with us, and finally we are together as a family. Although you are in an incubator, we feel so happy and contented . Now, Mummy is lying in bed looking at you and Daddy is at present recording all these precious moments in the computer and frequently visiting you over the other corner of the room. We truly thank God that we are now given this precious opportunity as a family united.

On this night, 13th November 1997, we as a family will retire and sleep together. Mummy has just read Psalm 23 to you and reassured you of Jesus’ love for you. Sleep well our baby, and rest well, you will be surrounded by angels all over. Our dearest Jamie, Mummy and Daddy are so very grateful for having the privilege of sleeping with you in the same room even for just one night. Tonight, perhaps we may even meet in our dreams, hurry and sleep well our dearest only son.

Dearest Jamie, through you, God has helped us to discover more about ourselves from angles not known to us before. We are truly amazed with the love, power and authority of God, for even in such a situation, seemingly tragic and devastating in the worldly eyes, God can reveal so much more understanding about love and about life, and instilled so deeply in our hearts and in the hearts of so many wonderful people around us throughout. My dearest Jamie, even as it is now, we have already received so much meaning of your coming into our lives. Thank you, our dearest Jamie and thanks be to God.

20th November 1997

Dearest Jamie, during the past few days, we have returned you to the nursery for proper care, so that you may have a better chance to grow stronger to return to our home for at least a few days.
From our observation, you seem to have made some progress, but Dr. Lim still thinks that you will not last too long. In fact just last night, he told us to be psychologically prepared, for you may only survive another couple of days.

But my dearest Jamie, how can we part with you while there is still so much about you to explore? Everyday we discover something new about you, your wondering glance, your frowning, your yawning, your burping, your hiccups……………..

In fact as days go by, we discover your very own little fragile character, and we get more and more accustomed to your everything, how are we ever to let you go? My dearest Jamie.

However, a powerful but more peaceful voice in our hearts say to us:

Where Jamie is going, is a far far better place than we have ever been, and Jamie is sure to have a far far better rest than we have ever known!

So then, how are we ever not to let you go? Oh my Jamie, only God knows how deeply you have affected us, and how we are being torn apart and feeling so helpless with your condition.


22nd November 1997

Our beloved and dearest Jamie, tonight at 10.30pm, while Mummy and Daddy were taking turns to cradle you in our arms, you cast your soft glances at both Mummy and Daddy before you drew your final breath. Hence, today I lost my son.

Dearest Jamie, we know you have indeed gone to a far far better place than we have ever been and you are sure to have a far far better rest than we have ever known. Farewell our little beloved angel, may you be our priceless deposit in heaven.




Lots of love from Daddy and Mummy.


http://www.geocities.com/wilsfordmindy/

GEESE

GEESE


“ I once watched a Canadian goose whose mate had been shot by hunters. They mate for life, you know. The gander circled the pond for days, and more days after that. When I last saw him, he was swimming alone through the wild rice, still looking…….”

- The Bridges of Madison County -


6-43 Lorong Scott, Brickfields

During my childhood days, our family resided at No 6-43 Lorong Scott, Jalan Brickfields in Kuala Lumpur. I understand that the land in that area belonged to the estate of one Mr. Loke Wan Too, who was a descendant of the famous tycoon Mr. Loke Yew. Mr. Loke Wan Too was once described by a Sino researcher as the rising star in the midst of an enterprising Chinese community in South East Asia during the 1960s, but his tragic death in an air crash in Taiwan also crushed his business empire which was known as the Cathay Organization. Hence, many families continued to live in the vast piece of undeveloped property stretching from the present day Holy Rosary Church to YMCA along the Klang River.

My father probably moved into the area when he started working for the Klang Bus Company which had a workshop in that area, dominated by the Henghua clan like us.

Lorong Scott was very close to the Kuala Lumpur Railway Station, and therefore, also very near to the once famous Hotel Majestic. Since in those days, the hotels or restaurant business were mostly dominated by the Hainanese, a number of Hainanese families also moved to the area. One of such couples happened to stay in our house as our rent paying tenant.


Pei-lay And Pei-neen

I verily remember that just the two of them must have moved into our house when I was about 7 or 8 years old and I never knew their names. The husband and wife who were in their sixties when they moved in, were simply known to us as “Pei-lay and Pei-neen” which means uncle and aunty in Hainanese.

I remember Pei-lay was working as a waiter in Hotel Majestic. Every morning he would cycle to work wearing his hotel uniform, consisting of a heavily starched white shirt and even more heavily starched light brown long pants with two red stripes running along the side seams. I was quite convinced that such starched pants could easily stand on its own without any support! And it must have been more difficult for him to cycle in such pants to work. Fortunately, I think he only needed to cycle for not more than 10 minutes from our house to the hotel.

Pei-lay and Pei-neen were truly a very loving couple at such old age, each really existing for the other. I have witnessed so much of their joy, laughter and unique caring for each other. It was really amazing how each was so willing to simply care for the other, generally taking no notice and keeping no record of any wrong doings on the part of the other, living simply to support each other and bringing relief and happiness to each other.

“Pa-Taap-Oo”

Once Pei-lay had left for work each morning, Pei-neen would be wondering around for some excitement. Generally, she would be looking for partners to play her Hainanese card game called “Pa Taap Oo”. Pei-neen was by the way, quite a fiery lady and on the heavier side too. On many occasions when she was loosing in her Taap Oo game, she actually turned the table over, intimidating all the other three players, causing great confusion and distress to the onlookers. But the end result was that she need not settle her loses since all the chips were mixed up intentionally by her in the confusion.

However, such tactics were later known by most of her friends, and gradually, she had very few friends who were still willing to play with her. And these remaining friends who continued to play with her were either as cunning as her or very careful in keeping side records of the score, so that she had to settle her losses no matter what tricks she could come up with. Of course this caused her quite a lot of pain and frustration, but since one would need someone else to play with, even in your late fifties, in the final analysis, I think she had to settle with that.


Pei-lay The Good Husband

Pei-lay was a very good natured and extremely well mannered man. Perhaps deeply influenced by his long lasting profession as a waiter in the premier hotel at that time, he was always ready to serve Pei-neen! Even after a whole days work, Pei-neen just needed to hint and he would obediently make a mug of Milo or Horlicks for her, with or without a raw egg put into it, according of course to her taste at that particular moment!

Sometimes, when Pei-neen had had a rough day, being very unhappy over the outcome of some silly card game, or still angry over some unresolved dispute with her gambling friends, she would poutingly wait in the evening for Pei-lay to return. Even a kid like me could tell from her face that she was working hard on her sad sobbing stories of how she was mistreated by all the people around her!

When Pei-lay finally returned from work, she would pour out all her conjured sobbing grievances to him, and he was always willing to listen and entertain such repetitive performances, by paying great attention not to agitate her further by comforting her with sweet soothing words and apologies, perhaps even more than he would to a very important guest at the Presidential Suite in the Hotel Majestic! Her complaints over her hard life with her gambling friends gradually became a routine but ironically, Pei-lay was always cheerful and never seemed to have had any rough day, although he had to serve all sorts of people in the hotel!

In the midst of all this fuss, Pei-lay was also a very amiable and courteous man in the community, of course, he often apologized secretly, to the neighbors about the behavior of his beloved Pei-neen. The whole community naturally respected him deeply and admired her jealously!


Pei-lay And His World

Indeed, by virtue of his career in the then premier hotel, Pei-lay was also a man of very interesting exposure. I remember spending much time sitting on a low stool by the side of his rattan rocking chair, while he proudly described to us some grand scene or occasion he had been in attendance. It was from him that I learnt much about some of the peculiar habits, strange behavior and interesting anecdotes of the tycoons of the time.

Pei-lay might have simply respected and admired the wealthy and the powerful whom he served everyday, but I am sure he had never ever imagined being wealthy or powerful himself! He was very submissive and accepted his status and station in life, or rather the lack of it, with peace and contentment. Hence, he often talked about the affairs and events involving the rich and the powerful and derived pride and satisfaction from simply “being there too”.

Among the fascinating anecdotes he told us was about how this Chinese tycoon, (perhaps Mr. Chan Weng, who built and used to live in the present Istana), being one of the first few who owned a car in the old Kuala Lumpur, used to care for the car so much that whenever the car was parked, it had to be jacked off the ground, to be rested on bricks!

He also told us about this grand funeral of a certain Chinese tycoon, when almost half the town was closed, everyone was so captivated by the display of wealth by the family, in such a time of mourning, just in accordance with the old tradition. We were so amazed to learn that, people who paid respects at the funeral were rewarded with a certain amount for lighting an incense stick, and a larger amount if they manage to cry aloud too! Those days, according to Pei-lay, there were many “professional mourners” who actually lined up to mourn the death of any tycoon, after collecting the “reward” for such “mourning”, they actually went back to line up again for a second round!


Pei-neen , My Brother Gian Ming And “Bo Hiap”

Perhaps due to the fact that they were at times lonely, both Pei-lay and Pei-neen simply loved and adored my brother Gian Ming who was born around the early years of them moving in with our family. However, I got into lots of trouble with Pei-neen due to her love and protective attitude towards my brother; Many times when I disciplined or rather, bullied Gian Ming, she would protect him and tell me off.

Once I tried to test just how much she could take, by intentionally bullying my brother continuously in the kitchen, when she was preparing her delicious Hainanese chicken rice, chopping chicken with a heavy chopper. To my great horror, I ended up being chased by her with the chopper swinging in her hand! Since then I was careful to observe the limit and only bullied my brother when she was not around! But eventually, I too suffered, because she had bestowed on me a wonderful nickname - “Bo Hiap” which means “the naughty one” or “the tyrant” in Hainanese, and the name stuck for a long long time!


Pei-neen’s Authentic Hainanese Cuisine

Despite all her worldly short comings in the eyes of her gambling friends and her "violence" against me, Pei-neen actually was a very nice old lady. She was also a great cook of great Hainanese cuisine and often shared her cooking with us! I have benefited a lot too from observing her cooking and till now, I can still remember some of her recipes! Till today, I still love to cook these dishes now and then.

Hainanese Chicken Rice

Being Hainanese, of course Pei-neen’s favorite dish had to be the very authentic Hainanese chicken rice! For this dish, I have seen Pei-neen spending very long hours performing so many steps with so many ingredients and not wasting anything in the whole process!

First, Pei-neen would boil a choise fat chicken in a pot with a small piece of smashed ginger. Meanwhile, she would extract some chicken oil by heating some of the fat cut out from the fresh chicken, then she would mixed the chicken oil with some freshly pounded chilly, with fresh lime squeezed in, hence completed the condiments for later serving with the chicken and rice.

When the chicken was just rightly boiled according to her perfection, the chicken would then be removed, and the stock with the small piece of ginger would then be poured onto the rice which she had previously stir fried with some chicken oil and pieces of smashed garlic, and boiled till cooked.

She would then chop the delicious chicken which was perfectly cooked according to her standard, into nice pieces, arranged on a plate, garnished with strands of split shallots and thinly sliced pieces of tomatoes, to be served with the divinely aromatic chicken rice and optional freshly pounded Hainanese chilly!

I have tasted many types of Hainanese chicken rice since, and I must insist, none tasted like Pei-neen’s; until now, I have not discovered the secret!

Whole Chicken Cooked In Coarse Salt

Another of her fine Hainanese cuisine was whole chicken cooked in coarse salt. Pei-neen cooked this dish specially for nourishing Pei-lay, supposedly to strengthen his health; As the chicken was normally too big for the two of them, and Pei-lay would suggest that some parts be given to us, we, the delightful kids would therefore be benefited after watching Pei-neen through out her skillful preparation.

For this dish, Pei-neen would select a suitable chicken, cleaned and dried before wrapping it up with oil paper. Then she would heat up a kwali with coarse salt in it, occasionally stirring the salt to ensure even heat, she would then placed the chicken wrapped in oil paper into the kwali, completely covered by the coarse salt and cooked till perfection.

When the chicken was removed from the kwali, the aroma was so deliciously pungent that one really looked forward to Peineen’s favor for a taste of it!

However, Pei-neen rarely cooked this dish as every such cooking usually damaged a kwali because of the long heating of the salt in the kwali.

Ribs, Carrot, Fish Maw And Crab

But, to me, the most memorable dish that was uniquely Pei-neen’s, has to be this divine soup of potent concoction of crab, pork rib, fish maw, white carrot and spices!

First, she would boil some choiced ribs and white carrot in a pot with assam leaves and some dried chily, then she would add in the fish maw that was earlier on suitably deep fried just enough to be brown but still retain the succulence in its texture! Before serving, she would add in the thoroughly cleaned and nicely chopped mud crab to finally come out with this creation of untold delicious in taste and beauty in sight, which I can still taste today, just by imagination!

Every time I cook any one of these dishes in later years, I always remember this interesting old lady known to me only as Pei-neen! Often time, while cooking these dishes, I could even visualized the image of Pei-neen cooking in the back kitchen at No 6-43 Lorong Scott!


Son And Grandson

For a long time, I thought Pei-lay and Pei-neen were alone with no children, until one day, for whatever strange reason, Pei-neen was really in very good mood and asked some of us to her room. She then took out a big manila envelope, and retrieved some letters together with many interesting photographs to show us.

At first, she showed us some old photographs of a fine looking young man in western suit posing in some western country, we were shocked when she told us that he was their son! Apparently, they had a son who went on to study in England and upon graduation, the young man somehow or rather ended up working and residing in Germany. Later, we were even told by Pei-lay that his son actually travelied to England in the same ship as Mr. Lee Kuan Yew, who later qualified as a lawyer and went on to become the legendary first Prime Minister of Singapore!

Pei-neen further showed us some photographs of a very cute looking little Euration baby boy and proudly announced that, that was her grandson! I could actually feel her joy and pride when she looked at those photographs with so much love and affections, something so rarely seen in our day to day encounter with her!

But throughout the whole session of admiring those photographs of her son and her grandson, she did not show us any photograph of her daughter-in-law. I supposed, being very traditional herself, she somehow did not approve of her only son marrying a western woman and not coming back to live with them! In fact, when someone asked her about her daughter-in-law, she was visibly upset, put back all the photographs into the envelope and chased us all out of her room!


Disaster Struck

Such was the case of Pei-lay and Pei-neen, each with distinct contradictory characters and yet demonstrated so much love, caring and needs for each other. But one day, disaster struck without warning!

I remember it was on a sunny afternoon, Pei-neen was down with fever and as expected, Pei-lay took time off to attend to her and to take her to a local clinic. On that fateful day, Pei-neen forgot to carry her IC and for that very rare moment, Pei-lay who had all the while been patient and loving towards her, was annoyed with her and gave her a piece of his mind. Unfortunately, Pei-neen was so upset that she went on a feat and unfortunately suffered a stroke as a result and finally ended up being half paralyzed!

After some unsuccessful treatments, she was sent back to our house and I could only remembered there was much illegible howling and mourning from the poor hot tempered, but now paralyzed Pei-neen accompanied by a confused and very sad Pei-lay.


The Suffering

For the next six months, Pei-neen suffered terribly as she could not express herself. For someone with such fiery temper and who had all along been so closely attended to by Pei-lay, it must have been very torturous for her. Through out the six months, Pei-lay had resigned from his job and spent all his time just taking care of her, with some help from my mother and some neighbors as well.

I remember her constant shrilling groaning and mourning, and watched Pei-lay’s anxiety turned into despair. Finally she died, leaving behind the poor Pei-lay totally heart broken in his sun set year of seventies, now all alone.


Pei-lay,s Grieve

Pei-lay grieved the death of his beloved Pei-neen very deeply. With tears in his eyes, he went through the whole ritual of a Chinese funeral. Later, with tears in his eyes, he began to thank all the people who had assisted him one way or another, and with much grieve and pain, he spent his remaining days and nights very lonely with no one for him to care for and there was no one there in the evening to complaint to him. And Pei-lay was physically wasting away.

As Pei-lay knew that Pei-neen loved my brother Gian Ming very much, he spent quite a lot of time teaching Gian Ming how to read his primary one textbook in Hainanese! Perhaps to seek some solace that at least he was doing something that Pei-neen would have approved.

Nevertheless, his grieve was too intense and soon he was down with tuberculosis. As he had no close relative, it became our family’s responsibility to take care of this poor old man.

My mother generally took care of his food and medicine, and my father would immediately upon his return from work, go to Pei-lay’s room to enquire about his condition and his needs. I could only watch all these from a distance as my mother did not allow us to be near Pei-lay for fear of catching the bacteria. But, even from a distance, I was very touched by my father’s care and concern for the poor man. He would always lean very close to Pei-lay every time Pei-lay talked to him to avoid Pei-lay straining himself, totally ignoring the contagious nature of Pei-lay’s illness.


Departure To Germany And ………

Later on, Pei-lay’s condition worsen and he was really very lonely with no closerelative nearby. Then upon advise and persuasion from friends and neighbors, he decided to leave for Germany to seek medical care and to live with his son.

We were all very happy to see him of in his western suit, being rather tall and with good posture from years of occupational habits as a waiter in the premier hotel in town, he really looked very impressive. All of us wished him the best and hoped that he would finally be united with his son happily.

Unfortunately, sometime later we were told that in Germany, he was not well treated and being a stranger in a foreign land, he felt more displaced and possibly, still unable to get over his grieve over the death of his beloved wife, he committed suicide one day, by hanging himself!


Geese

Indeed the Canadian geese of yester year mated for life, and could no longer live when the partner was lost; Such was the story of Pei-lay and Pei-neen, recollected from the remnants of my memories of my childhood days, which I have long thought of recording down, in memory of a truly touching love story that has long impressed upon my heart.

( November 1997 )